i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
