GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
