David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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