ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
