with your own penis?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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