allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i think i have two assholes
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
