More tranny stories later!
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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