If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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