Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize