goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize