I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
All I want is dick and wine.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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