he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
