Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
