Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize