Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
