everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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