sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
