It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
