u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
