we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
