nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
