i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
