you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
