I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize