you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
