the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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