Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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