if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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