This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
