Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
