Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
