Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
