Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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