I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Say something about gay babies.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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