I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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