What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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