He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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