i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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