so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
