Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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