Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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