I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
