i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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