he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
