I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
