I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
