You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
