I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
