Small penises have feelings too.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
