Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
