I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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