You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
