dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Your cock deserves a montage
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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