While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
