we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Help. Why am I so naked?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
