WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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