So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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