I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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