i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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