so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Boobs speak an international language.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
