Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
