In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I stole a fireplace last night.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
