Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize