What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
