i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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