that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
