how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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