Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
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